


You Miss Her

by teamchaosprez



Category: RWBY
Genre: Character Study, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, POV Second Person, This poor boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchaosprez/pseuds/teamchaosprez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You want to be mad at her, but it’s a little hard when she’s the one you love. And even harder when she’s dead. So instead, you’re mad at yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Miss Her

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this but here you go. This is my first RWBY fanfiction.

You miss her.

You want to be angry with her. She denied your help. She shoved you into a locker to get you away from the danger, and she went to face the most dangerous enemy either of you had ever seen all by herself. And she had the nerve to  _ kiss _ you before she did it. The first person that ever believed in you, hell, the first person you ever  _ loved. _ You can’t help but feel like you could have saved her if she’d let you; you have a  **shield,** for god’s sake, and you’re supposed to be the leader of your team. Which she was in.

You want to be mad at her, but it’s a little hard when she’s the one you love. And even harder when she’s dead. So instead, you’re mad at yourself. For not trying harder. For not saving her. For never finding a way to tell her how you feel. For not even being able to go to her  _ funeral _ because you’re too far away. You’re so angry with yourself that it  _ hurts. _ Occasionally, yes, you are angry with Cinder for being the one to kill her, or whatever god there is for letting all of this happen.

You’re miserable. Absolutely miserable. Pyrrha Nikos is dead, and so is your hope. You can’t wake up in the morning without realizing that you’re at home, with your seven sisters and parents. And every morning when that realization hits you, so does another wave of self loathing that hits you like a hefty punch to the gut and leaves you reeling and quiet for the rest of the day. It isn’t fair. It just  _ isn’t fair. _ You don’t know why it couldn’t have been you. About three quarters of your time is spent wishing it had been you that got an arrow to the heart instead of Pyrrha. Anyone but her, but preferably you.

Nora and Ren visit on occasion. You begin to wonder if it’s possible to separate them, because they always arrive together. Your parents love them - they make jokes about adopting them every once in awhile. It’s pretty nice, admittedly, to be around Ren’s quiet ease and Nora’s unlimited energy (even if it has diminished a bit, but you’re always too glad to see her to comment). The days where they’re around are both the best and the worst. The best because you don’t feel as alone and isolated. The worst because it’s always depressing to know that team JNPR is down to three members.

Nora says you should call yourselves team JNR instead - pronounced “juner.” You might have gone along with it in the past, but for the moment all you can manage to say is that juner isn’t even a real word. Maybe you’re clinging to the memory of Pyrrha too much to take her initial out of the team name. Sometimes you doubt that Beacon will ever be back to normal enough to go back to school. No point in trying to cling to something that isn’t going to ever be the way it was. Awkward silence always follows.

Ruby writes you occasionally. She seems to be doing pretty rough as well, and that saddens you - the first friend you made at Beacon, and she’s struggling. There’s still her boundless energy and optimism, of course, but you can tell even in her writing that the childish spark she used to have is gone. That saddens you, and it only gets worse whenever you respond and decide to press for information about Yang. The older of the two sisters is depressed and refusing to leave her bed, and it’s entirely possible that she’s feeling even worse than you are, and that makes you a little guilty for moping around.

As for Weiss, Blake, Sun, and Neptune, they’re all MIA. You haven’t heard from them once since you parted ways, and that leaves you a little bitter. Do they not care enough to check in and see how you’re doing? Weiss at least might be restrained by her father, but what of the other three?

You won’t admit it, not even to yourself, but you’re a little worried that something might have happened to them. Especially Blake, who bolted as soon as the city was within view. Being bitter is so much easier. You were worried about Pyrrha, and look where that left you.

Nora and Ren are with you and the sun is falling when you get a letter in the mail from Ruby. You open it with a certain urgence, wondering what she could be writing about before you even replied to her last correspondence. Once you’re sure that there’s nothing overly personal written down, you read the contents of the note out loud.

She wants to meet you at her place and travel to Haven to help with her Uncle Qrow’s investigation. The decision is mutual before you even ask the other two if they’d like to join in. You’re   _ going _ to get answers. And maybe avenge the girl you love in the process.

The three of you arrive at the wooden house before she even exits, and when she turns you try to offer a smile. It’s the first time you’ve seen her in person since the Battle at Beacon, and admittedly she’s a sight for sore eyes. “Hey,” you speak softly.

“Hey, Jaune,” she replies tiredly and walks over to join you. “Haven’s a long way to go,” she speaks, as if trying to let you know one more time that you can just turn around and go back home. You won’t, of course. You knew it before you came here.

“I know. But it’s the only lead we have,” you finally answer.

“And you’re sure you wanna come along?”

It’s Ren that speaks next, and you look over to him and Nora. “The journey will be perilous,” he says in his usual cryptic way of speaking, “and whether we find answers at the end is entirely uncertain.”

Nora pipes in, her hammer over her shoulder. “But we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t up for it.”

“Then let’s get started,” Ruby nods, the determined expression on her face renewed.

The four of you turn and begin walking down the snow covered path, not sure of what lies ahead but definitely certain that there’s no other way to go.


End file.
